Life Matters - February 5, 2025
I saw myself laying in a fetal position on my left side, my head on the threshold of an open door. Hovering above myself I could see through the open doorway. All I could see was blue sky, deep blue sky, deeper blue than I had ever seen before. And bright light, brighter light than I had ever seen before, but for all its brightness it didn’t hurt my eyes. I knew that I was laying at the threshold of eternity, that I was to go through the open door to live eternally with Jesus.
Back in my body, the peace and joy was exhilarating as I sensed the presence of Jesus. I felt embraced by His love, comforted by His presence, protected in His peace, bubbling with His joy. And this love, comfort, peace, and joy, was now to be this way forever! Never to be interrupted! It would now always be this way!
In retrospect, the words impressed on my mind didn’t say what day or what hour I would be passing through that open door.
Three weeks after that September accident, in October of 2011, as I slowly emerged out of a coma, I was disappointed when I understood that instead of going to be with Jesus, my body was getting well enough to go on with life here. I thought about the battle between good and evil and how digital technology was increasingly being captured by evil for use in that battle. I somehow knew—there was no question in my mind—that digital technology was to play a major role in the devil’s final attempt to bring the entire world into his bondage.
Now I was to leave that eternal place of love, comfort, peace, and joy, to come back to battle in…this fearful unknown? I did not want to.
Thoughts of my family came to my mind. The people I loved. Suddenly, I wanted to come back. To enter the fray. To win. To win for the sake of my family. To win for the people I loved. That place of eternity, that place of forever to be with Jesus, had no comparison in this life. It was worth whatever it might cost in this life where everything was worthless in comparison. I wanted the rest of my life to count for the eternal kingdom of God more than it ever had since surrendering my life to Christ in the early ‘80s.
It was a journey that began in 1960 and accelerated in 1982. We had gotten married the year before and now as I gazed into the lovely face of our firstborn infant daughter I was mesmerized, captivated, by the innocence of this baby I held in my arms. Everything in me wanted to protect, to retain that innocence, to keep our precious little one from dangers such as the teenage rebellion I had just recently managed to painfully extricate myself from. A rebellion openly and blatantly encouraged by the Rock-n-Roll rebellion of those days. While I had avoided the worst of its degradation, the “softer” version had a grip on me that had been hard to untangle myself from.
The final break with Rock-n-Roll and “weed” had come one night when with a friend who had bought my sports car and offered to take me on a mountain road cruise one balmy summer evening. There was something about this section of the Appalachian mountain range that always made me uneasy about the “wild life,” but as rock-n-roll blared from the car stereo my love for rock-n-roll while cruising the mountains I loved covered my uneasiness, even as it got lost in the smokey haze of the car’s interior. Having cruised awhile, my friend turned the car toward home.
Driving from our lofty heights to the valley floor involved many hairpin turns and as we approached the first one I froze and braced myself for a crash. (yes, I know its best to relax…is that even possible?) We made it. ‘’Surely he’ll slow down for the next one,’’ I thought. He didn’t. But we made it.
And then…adding to my abject terror…a TV screen the size of the glovebox replaced its lid in front of me and a rock-n-roll band appeared with their electric guitars, keyboard, and a drum set. The devil sang lead, staring straight at me while raking vile fingers across his guitar strings, keeping perfect time with wild and dark demons on the other three instruments. The pounding Rock pandemonium had left the car’s stereo and was now coming directly from the ‘live band’ in front of me. I was terrified by what I saw, but what drove me to the depths of despair permeating my soul were the devil’s lyrics as he leered at me with an evil hate-filled triumph.
‘’You’re gonna die tonight! You’re gonna die tonight! You’re gonna die tonight!” was being pounded into my head by this leering devil keeping perfect time with the screaming pounding instruments. I was unable to resist. Hell held me in its horrible grip.
‘’What’s wrong Billy!?’’ (my nickname at the time) It was more of an exclamation than a question from my friend at the wheel, and it served to bring me out of the trance—revelation—or whatever it was. I only knew God had allowed me a glimpse behind the scenes and I understood how vulnerable I was were God to remove His protecting hand. Someone turned the music down. ‘’Just take me home’’ I groaned, ‘’Just take me home.’’ And this from a young guy who prided himself in never showing fear.
My friend obliged. And I prayed. I promised God I would never ‘’touch this stuff again’’ if He got me safely home. I prayed all the way. Home had never looked so good and as I said ‘’see ya’’ to Chip, my new resolve deepened as his headlights reached the road and disappeared over yonder hill. If I ever see him again I want to tell him what happened.
Life Matters!